I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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