with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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