dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
