2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
