I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
