what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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