I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
