I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
