Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
