WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
