I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
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