I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
