I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
