three words: i give head
three words: not that well
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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