yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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