Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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