I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
