why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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