It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Randomize
