He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
