Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
