I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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