What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I could make wine with my vomit
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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