Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
