Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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