Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
