i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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