what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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