it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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