We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
