i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
