He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
