Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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