you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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