Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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