Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
