no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
