it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
My butt remains clenched, sir.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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