ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
