I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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