i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
