1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
You're my little dorito
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
that's an acceptable place to lick
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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