I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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