..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
