I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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