I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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