btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
