Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
