I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
