Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
